Stupid questions with smart answers

BOY: May I hold your hand?
GIRL: No thanks, it isn’t heavy.

GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY: You love me…

GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY: Sure, what’s your phone number??

GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY: Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple

GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY: Don’t you ever want to improve??

BOY: I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL: How soon??

BOY: I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He’d forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN: You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN: Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN: NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you’re pretty ugly.

source:email

A friend is

A friend is

A tissue when you can’t stop crying

A shoulder when you feel like dying

Always listens when you have something to say

A week when you just need a day

A crutch when you have a broken heart

Some glue when everything falls apart

A sun when the rain just won’t stop

Your mum when you run into a cop

Phone call when you can’t leave your home

Hand when you feel all alone

Wing of you want to fly

Understands without knowing why

An ear for a secret to tell

An aspirin when you feel unwell

A love that can never let go

I cherish those moments of our friendship

I share with you!!!

Exam mood

New school semester

At the first week

At the second week

Before the mid-term test

During the mid-term test

After the mid-term test

Once know the final exam schedule

Before the final exam

7days before the final exam

6days before the final exam

5days before the final exam

4days before the final exam

3days before the final exam

2days before the final exam

1days before the final exam

A night before the final exam

1hour before the final exam

During the final exam

Once walk out from the exam hall

After the final exam during the holiday

One Line Joke (^_^)

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

Clever anagrams

This is one of the cleverest emails I've received in awhile. Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one!)

DORMITORY:
when you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
when you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
when you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
when you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
when you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
when you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
when you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
when you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
when you rearrange the letters:
LIES- LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
when you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z'S..

THE EARTHQUAKES:
when you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
when you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW
when you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

7 Warning Signs That She is Not Interested in You Anymore

To break up a relationship is a harder decision when we talk about a long term one. In most cases when woman is no longer interested in a relationship she doesn't want to be the one to end it. But even when she is already made the decision to break it up, she will take some time to give you some signs to prepare you, before she tells you.

If you feel that something is going wrong it is time to take a closer look at your relationship. Here are seven warning signs she is no longer interested:

1. This is probably the most classic subtle signal of all: her life become too hectic. She hasn't picked up the phone for a few days and when she does, she is busy and pretending that she doesn't have time to met you. This isn't necessarily a sign that it is over, but if you are used to meet her frequently then there is something wrong.

2. Eventually, when she decided to spend some time with you she keeps looking around to find something to do or someone else to talk to. However, when a woman is interested, she puts in the effort by giving you her full attention.

3. She's secretive and no longer wants to tell you where she has been or who was on the phone.

4. Don't forget that women love to talk. If she doesn't ask you questions and shows no interest in what you have to say and when you ask her questions she limits her answers to "yes" and "no" she has a problem. Can it be the relationship with you?

5. Is she causing arguments over stupid little things? If nothing you do or say isn't right anymore and all that goes wrong is your fault you can start to worry.

6. She refuses the presents you make. Women love to get presents, so if she turns yours down, she can feel guilty because she is thinking to break up with you, especially if you know she was about to buy that thing for herself.

7. She talks about divorce or break up of other people relationship, as a positive thing. Maybe a friend of her just has braked up with her boyfriend and now she is doing much better. In the game of romance, few things are black and white. Most of the points above are assumptions based on commonly used techniques. There is room for interpretations and misunderstandings but all this can make you wonder if everything is ok and discuss the problems you might have.

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